Ignorance is bliss, that's what they say

So tonight one of my biggest influences Angie gave me some pretty negative feedback (all be it very brief and somewhat unexplained) about my relationship so far with Melissa. I’m not entirely sure what was fueling this hate, but I can’t help but be concerned after hearing it. She said that we acted like we had never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before, strictly based on how much we were holding hands. Not only that, she made it seem like there was something horribly wrong with holding hands a lot. Then she went on to say that it was bad that she already has a profile picture of us, that it scares her. She made a quick mention of jumping into things too quickly and how things can go bad. To say that I’m a little upset this conversation only got to last about 90 seconds might be the understatement of the month. I feel very angry, and a little disturbed.

First off, why is it so bad that we are holding hands so much? Secondly, if two kids happen to be falling for each other, even if it is in such a short time, who are you to say that it’s so bad? Also, since when is putting up a profile picture with your new boyfriend making a statement that says, “I’m moving things too fast.” That is what it appears Angie is making her second claim based on.

Its like, shouldn’t you just be happy for me, or at least not come off so mean the first time you talk about my relationship? If she has really been keeping good enough tabs on me, she would realize how the way she just attacked me would not sit well at all. Then on top of it, when she called me back, it was she didn’t even just say what she said.

I don’t know, it’s like I’ve been on an emotional high about things and my best friend just decides to shoot me down. Its like, might as well have called me up and said, “I hate everything about you and your new girlfriend’s relationship. BYE!” Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Frustrated,
Alexander

The Note

Melissa,

You wrote me a note and it left me speechless at first, but after having a while think about it, I know what I want to say. I’m falling for you too, and I know it because every time I go to leave you, it becomes harder and harder. I’ve never felt like this with anyone, and most of the time I feel lost with what to do around you. Whenever I am holding you, I feel like I could hold on to you forever. Whenever we kiss, it’s like everything in the world is right, if only then. Your smile is perfectly breathtaking; it always gets me smile right back. Your eyes are calm and kind, I can’t help but get lost in them. Before when I would try and go to sleep, my mind would roam, thinking about anything and everything; now they only think of you.

My biggest fear with you since I started feeling this way is that I’m going to let my emotions get the better of me and move faster than you are ready for. That’s why I have been so cautious to do anything it seems, I know you have been through so much and I want to be the last person to push you. The one thing that would make me happy when I’m around you is for you to either tell me when you are ready to take things up a level, or show me yourself. I have a sad recent past and I kick myself for moving too fast in it, it is the reason I haven’t been the first to tell you how I feel.

It’s not easy for me to open up to anyone, only a couple people have ever had a chance to see it, and it’s still hard to tell them how I feel sometimes. Just know that if you ever need to tell me something like this, if I’m not talking it’s not a bad thing at all, it’s just really hard for me to say how I feel.